a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
