I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
