More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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