Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize