Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
