He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
