I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
