Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize