I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
