Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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