did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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