id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
