Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize