i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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