Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
