They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
