Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
