I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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