We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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