Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
