I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
