I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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