I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
