It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How does one acquire holy water?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
