i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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