Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
did i just pee glitter
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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