If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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