Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
