There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize