Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
