you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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