living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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