careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
