There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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