so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
