I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
