Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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