finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
