HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize