so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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