eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
