after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
