the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
