How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
