another moral hangover. fuck.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize