My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
