around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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