she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize