You're completely useless in the revolution.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Everything about him screamed your future.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
