so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What a dumb baby whore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
