I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize