I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
