He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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