I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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