are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
