How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
