tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize