Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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