i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
