and i looked up. we had an audience...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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