ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
