sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
