i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
