I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
