Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
