We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
420 ftw
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
