remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
