I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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