I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
