I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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