Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
