I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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